I want to be very clear. That was my balloon, and I can’t believe they shot it down. I spent the last few months working with the ever-gregarious Dr. S. Beakman. We were trying to collect more information on the Flutterbird environment. I designed the balloon, and Beakman created the data collection software. I know; some would say the good doctor is better on the ground with beakers. But you need to understand his attitude is so positive that it uplifts everyone around him. When considering a balloon project, uplifting moods and colorful balloons go hand in hand. Not to mention, the Beakster is working on a new germination project for our latest pudding farm. I love to taste-test his developments.
The idea hit me while I was trying on a new pair of shoes, and some idiot opened the establishment door. A bunch of dirty little rugrats accompanied them. The time it took to get the smelly inconveniences through the door. This length guttersnipe process allowed a gust of wind to disturb one of my favorite Flutterbirds, Flitty. I try to take a little piece of heaven with me when shopping. You can think of her as my support animal, but I hate referring to them as animals. Fluttebirds are better than most people, and I would sacrifice thousands of ordinary people for a single Flutterbird, but I digress.
My precious little cargo perked up when hit by that gust of wind. It got me thinking that wind might positively influence the re-population of earth’s most excellent resource. I know that my little birds are found flying at many different elevations. I also know they procreate while in flight. If I could find the optimal elevation, I could repopulate at an exponential rate. I started to engineer the balloon and the component housing. Getting the correct amount of ballast to nitrogen is very complicated. I had to inhale at least ten Whip-it cartridges to establish the optimal amount. My life is very hectic. I needed some help. This is where the good doctor comes into the picture.
Dr. Beakman’s portion of the experiment involved collecting wind velocity and accelerometer data. I believe he will follow up with his journey. At least I was safely on the ground when the balloon was terminated before completion.
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